Evaluation Appointment With An Auditory/Speech Therapist

While I am constantly amazed at all of the new noises I am now able to hear, I am still having a difficult time with my speech discrimination (or understanding).  I was told by the Envoy Technician that this is likely due to my dependency on reading lips. If I am not looking at the person who is talking, I am not able to understand what they are saying. While I hear them loud and clear, my brain cannot process what is being said. The best way I can explain what this is like is to picture yourself in a room where no one speaks your language. While you have the physical ability to hear, you have no idea what they are saying. You are looking around constantly to try to pick up on social cues that will help you follow what is being said. You may feel isolated. You may feel alone. You may even feel a bit paranoid like people are talking or laughing about you. Sometimes you laugh it off and pretend to go along with the conversation and other times you get so down on yourself that you escape the situation as soon as you can.

I do not want to be like this anymore. I want to be able to take advantage of my new ability to hear. I don't want to have to hear by looking. I want to hear by hearing as much as my physical ability will let me! 

So, I decided to contact an Auditory/Speech Therapist to help me with my ability to understand running conversation, regardless of my financial situation (credit cards were created for a reason, right?). My inability to hear conversation and to be social affects the quality of my life and so, I felt that it was necessary for me to take this next step. I have come to terms with the fact that I may never be able to have the hearing that I used to have, but I do not want to have any regrets in this process or look back and say "I wish I did this" or "I should have done that" to help myself. I have been thinking about this for a while and I would regret it if I did not give myself this opportunity.

I had my evaluation this week, which consisted mostly of talking about the history of my hearing loss, my progress with the Esteem hearing implant, and situations that are difficult for me to hear. I was also tested on my word and sound discrimination. Throughout the entire test, she sat behind me so that I would not be able to read her lips. For the first part of the test I had to repeat the word. Very basic and similar to the speech discrimination test that are given by my audiologist.

For the second part of the test, I had to repeat sentences. However, they were sentences that did not make sense (e.g., I put the basketball in the toaster). Since most hearing impaired individuals actually pick up on about 30% percent through reading lips and 30% through actually hearing, they must fill in the rest of the conversation with social cues and other people's facial expressions. If we miss even one word, or interpret one word incorrectly, then this has a HUGE effect on our understanding since topics switch very readily in running conversation. So, by having to repeat sentences that do not make sense, this really test how much I am able to hear and how much I am filling in the blanks.

The third part of the evaluation was repeating a sentence in which I had to fill in the last part. For example, she would say, “You cook a turkey in the...” and I would say "oven" if I had heard the sentence correctly. She made sure that there were minimal options for the blank word in the sentence. So again, this test how much of the sentence I am hearing.

Essentially, she found that I am having a difficult time with soft, short consonant sounds, such as the “s” and the “f” sounds. These are short and quick sounds that fall within the higher frequencies, which my brain is not use to hearing since I haven’t heard these sounds in the last 9 years!

She said that therapy and practicing sound discrimination exercises will improve my ability to hear and identify these sounds more readily. Even if she has to repeat a word 100 times, each time she makes that sound or says that word, it will build and strengthen the connection in my brain.

We agreed to meet for 30 minutes ever week for now until she develops a more finalized work plan for me. She said that she would be willing to provide me with practice exercises to do on my own, if I cannot afford to have her come every week. She also mentioned that it typically takes about 3-6 months of intense practice in order to see a difference. This means practicing EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I think God is truly testing my ability to be patient... I don’t know where I got the idea in my head that this would be an “easy” process. Life is all about learning and finding who we are. Where would inner and spiritual growth come from if everything was easy and perfect all the time! While the last decade has not been easy for me, I have grown a tremendous amount and learned so much about myself through this experience. I am actually looking forward to my journey of acceptance and finally finding peace within myself. I have been struggling through life for a while now and it feels good to let go of this a little bit each day.

Let go and Let God.